Being sober-curious as a gay man feels… rebellious.

Not in a storm the gates kind of way, more in a quietly ordering something non-alcoholic and watching the room subtly recalibrate kind of way.

I’m talking about alcohol, specifically how my relationship with drinking has shifted lately.

And honestly?

It’s been feeling better.

The Bit No One Sells You

When I go out and don’t drink, I still have fun.

I still laugh.

I still dance.

I still feel social.

That part hasn’t changed.

What has changed is everything that comes after.

I sleep better.

I wake up clearer.

My Sunday isn’t a write-off.

My shoulders, neck, and upper back don’t feel like they’ve been through an unsanctioned CrossFit session.

Recovery is quicker. The fog lifts sooner. And I don’t spend half the day negotiating with myself like, okay but was it actually worth it?

Turns out, it’s not so much the night out I dislike, it’s the hangover tax.

Who I Am On Nights I Don’t Drink

What surprised me most is that I don’t feel like a different person when I don’t drink.

I’m not quieter.

I’m not less fun.

I don’t suddenly lose my personality.

If anything, I’m more present.

I remember conversations. I leave when I want to. I don’t wake up replaying moments, wondering if something I said is now living rent-free in someone else’s head, or worse, my own.

There’s a calm confidence in it. A sense that I’m choosing how the night unfolds instead of letting it choose for me.

And in gay spaces especially, not drinking doesn’t really stand out the way people assume it might. Plenty of people go out and don’t drink (for all sorts of reasons). The assumption isn’t that you’re missing out. It’s just that you’re… navigating the night differently.

Which, honestly, suits me just fine.

A Very Gay Catch-Up (With a Plot Twist)

On the eve of my holidays, I caught up with a friend who was in Sydney visiting. Very “let’s grab a drink” energy. Very normal. Very expected.

Except the drink we both ordered… was a protein smoothie.

No irony. No commentary. Just two gays, sitting there with thick blended beverages, catching up like this was completely reasonable behaviour (which, frankly, it was).

And I loved it.

It fit where I was at.

It fit the rhythm of my day.

It fit the fact that I had a gym session the next morning and zero interest in waking up feeling dusty.

It Just Fits (For Now)

The more I think about it, the more alcohol-free nights slot neatly into the life I’m building.

Early mornings.

Gym routines.

Clear head for work.

Energy for writing.

Weekends I actually get to enjoy instead of recover from.

This isn’t about never drinking again.

It’s not a declaration.

It’s not a rebrand.

It’s just about noticing what fits in this season of my life, and choosing that more often.

With Love, A Smirk

There’s something quietly satisfying about ordering a soda water, a mocktail, or a smoothie, and watching people accept it without question.

No explanations required.

No big statements.

No need to justify anything.

I’m not missing out.

I’m just opting in differently.

And if that means I still have a great night, still feel connected, and still wake up feeling good the next day?

Honestly, I’ll take that.

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Maybe this is a phase.

Maybe it’s just a season.

Maybe I’ll drink more again later.

But right now, I like how this feels.

I like waking up clear.

I like choosing what fits instead of defaulting to what’s expected.

I like that fun doesn’t have to come with consequences anymore.

And if the most rebellious thing I do this year is replace a drink with a protein smoothie?

Well.

I’ve done worse.