It’s almost time! When shirtless becomes a costume, body paint becomes a personality trait, and Horrorween Festival becomes the gay Met Gala of the undead.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love Halloween. It’s camp. It’s chaotic. It’s a hall pass to wear something completely ridiculous and pretend it’s “conceptual.” But the gay costume roster? She’s in her reboot era.

Do we really need:

• Another glittery vampire who’s allergic to shirts?
• A ringmaster with a whip and no context?
• And please, Mario & Luigi couples costumes… again? We get it. You’re dating and you own overalls. Cute.

That said, I’m not above a little mess myself. Here are a few costumes I’d absolutely wear this year:

• Slutty Slasher Energy- low effort, high blood, potentially unsafe props. Perfect.
• Techno Goblin Vibes- inspired by the sweaty, shirtless DJs of Instagram whose chests bounce with purpose and BPM.
• Pop! Vinyl of Myself– party fan, speedos, and a facial expression that says “I’m fun, but I will ghost you.”
• Fallen Angel with Trust Issues — wings slightly bent, heart fully guarded.

Jokes aside, Halloween has always been more than dress-up. It’s the one time queers get to play with identity without having to explain it. You can be hot, haunted, hilarious, or healing, all in one night. That’s kinda beautiful, actually.

So whatever you wear, wear it shamelessly. And if you do show up as Mario and Luigi… at least make it fashion.