At my company, we have something called an STI: Short Term Incentive. It’s a once-a-year bonus, basically the corporate version of Santa Claus. If you’ve worked hard, hit targets, and the stars align, you get rewarded.

But recently, I had another STI moment. Not the spreadsheet kind. The sexual health clinic kind.

Results Day: A Plot Twist

So I go in, do the swabs, do the bloods, do the deeply personal questionnaire about my last three months. (I always wonder if they want the exact number of partners or if they’d prefer a rough range, like Uber surge pricing.)

Later that day, two notifications hit my phone.

First one: my STI bonus. Positive! 🤑

Second one: my STI test results. Also positive! 💊

The universe really said: “Work hard, play harder. Here’s a reward… and a reminder.”

The Parallel Universe of STIs

The similarities are almost poetic:

• Luck. Sometimes your company has a good year. Sometimes your immune system doesn’t.
• Hard work. Bonuses don’t earn themselves. Neither do 2am decisions.
• Who you surround yourself with. At work, it’s colleagues who help you hit targets. At home (or… wherever else), it’s the people who help you hit other things.

No Shame, Just Treatment

Here’s the important part: there’s no shame in STIs. They’re common, they’re treatable, and they’re not a moral failing. Getting tested is a sign of responsibility, not recklessness.

So yes, my STI day was chaotic. But both results reminded me of the same thing: life is unpredictable, sometimes ridiculous, and always a mix of wins and lessons. And thankfully, both direct deposits and antibiotics can change your week for the better.

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For info, support, or free testing in NSW, check out:

ACON: acon.org.au — sexual health, HIV prevention, community support. NSW Sexual

Health Clinics — free, confidential testing & treatment.

And if you’re elsewhere in Australia: call your local sexual health hotline or community health centre.