You know that feeling when you meet someone on a night out and instantly decide this is your person? Not your forever person. Not even your let’s get brunch next weekend person. No, your club husband.

You lock eyes across the haze, exchange a sweaty hug, and 45 minutes later you’re slow dancing to techno (which is really just swaying dramatically while holding each other’s shoulders). Congratulations, you’re club married.

The Courtship Phase

It happens fast:

• Meet.
• Exchange first names.
• Forget first names.
• Add each other on Instagram so you can keep checking what his name is.

In no time, you’re holding hands, taking bathroom trips together, and fending off guys who assume you’re a couple scouting for a third. (You’re not, you’re just in the honeymoon phase of a relationship that will fully dissolve at sunrise when one of you disappears into the night without so much as a wave.)

The Magic Mix

Part of it is chemistry. That raw, instant, oh-my-god-we’re-on-the-same-frequency spark.

Part of it is… well, chemicals. No need to unpack that one too deeply.

It’s this perfect storm of shared euphoria, music thumping like a heartbeat, and the safe little bubble of a club where rules bend and connections spark instantly.

The Divorce Papers

Morning comes, and reality sets in:

You scroll your phone and realise you never swapped last names. Your “husband” is probably already telling a new love story across the dance floor somewhere else. You’re left with one blurry photo together and a faint scent of sweat and nostalgia.

And that’s the thing about club marriage, it’s meant to expire. It’s a flash of closeness, a beautiful little fever dream that doesn’t need to survive the daylight.

Why We Do It

Club marriage scratches a very human itch: wanting connection without commitment. A temporary teammate in the chaos. Someone to keep you warm, hold your drink, and hype you up when your favourite track drops.

It’s not about forever; it’s about right now. And sometimes right now is enough. I’m fact, sometimes it’s truly beautiful.

---

So yes, I’ve been club married more times than I can count. No legal paperwork, no shared Netflix password, no heartbreak, just one glorious, sweaty night of love at first beat. 10/10 recommend. Just don’t expect him to text back when the lights come on.