There’s a strange kind of loneliness that creeps in when the party stops.

Having worked in gay nightlife for years, I was surrounded by people who seemed to want to be my friend. But stepping away made it clear that some of those connections were only as deep as the guest list. Once the perceived perks disappeared, so did they. Were we really friends, or just familiar faces in the strobe lights?

When you stop going out, you notice how many “friendships” only existed in the chaos of a night out. It’s confronting. In a city like Sydney, where nightlife often feels like the glue holding us together, it can feel like there’s no other way to connect unless we’re getting lit.

I’ve spoken to others who feel the same, like we’re all just trying to be seen, trying to feel relevant. But maybe there’s more to life than that. Maybe the real challenge is creating connections that aren’t built on the noise, but on the quiet moments where no one’s watching.

Because relevance fades. But real friendship? That sticks around.